If Satan opened HECK, a not quite Hellish region of the afterlife, what would it be like?
The_Riv
Shipmate
in The Circus
Recently, I saw a version of this on a social media platform, and thought it might be fun to flesh-out in here:
Bored with run-o'-the-mill eternal torment, weeping and gnashing of teeth, Satan opens HECK, a new region of the afterlife that's not at all Heavenly, but not quite Hell. Our task is to develop its environs, parameters, population, etc.
So, what would it be like?! NOTE: this is not intended as a theological issue to be argued. I know there are as many ideas/positions about Satan and Hell on Ship as there are posters. This is a thought experiment Game, so please play along.
The simple baseline is that Heaven and Hell exist, and Heck has been dropped somewhere in between. Go!
Bored with run-o'-the-mill eternal torment, weeping and gnashing of teeth, Satan opens HECK, a new region of the afterlife that's not at all Heavenly, but not quite Hell. Our task is to develop its environs, parameters, population, etc.
So, what would it be like?! NOTE: this is not intended as a theological issue to be argued. I know there are as many ideas/positions about Satan and Hell on Ship as there are posters. This is a thought experiment Game, so please play along.
The simple baseline is that Heaven and Hell exist, and Heck has been dropped somewhere in between. Go!
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We also have the Reform Party, and so long as they do not form a government, we live in Heck.
We are already in Heck ☹️
No, that's Hell.
Hang on, if we are already in Heck, what’s the point of life assurance and especially funeral plans?
Oh yes, Heck is essentially boring.
Because the policies are essentially worthless. For the premium quoted in the ad (typically $9.95 per month) you would not receive enough coverage to pay for your guests' condolence cards.
That's almost too inconvenient. I would argue that to be more heck-ish, all ATMs have a touch screen, where there's a small misalignment between the sensors and the display, so you click on 6 and then a 3 comes up instead.
I have a recurring dream where I am dialing a number on a Touch Tone phone but for some reason I can't manage to press the right buttons.
Any route you wish to take is always under construction -- as are the suggested detours.
Nope. It's too good for them!
Reading the posts above I can't help thinking we are actually in Heck!
No cats? Automatically hell.
Heck serves Heinz ketchup only in fully filled 12oz narrow neck glass bottles so that every time you want ketchup, you have to pound, tap and ultimately blurp an ungodly sized clot all over everything that didn't need it.
AFF
This world then?
No - that's definitely Hell.
Again, we are already in Heck. We are grateful for these screwdrivers.
All ruled over by an angel who got kicked outta Heaven after asking for more leeway with the rules.
Tangent alert: Mrs RR keeps the new sqeezy ketchup bottles in the fridge (necessary if there the 'low sugar' variety). But upside down. Husband takes out bottle, puts on dining table. Pause whilst food is readied. Bottle warms up. Air in it expands, creating pressure. Dinner ready. Husband sits down, lifts up lid of aforesaid ketchup bottle. I minor exposion of ketchup over .... well everything.
Mrs RR now puts ketchup in a dish with a spoon for stupid husband. Peace reigns until I ask, 'where's the Brown sauce, dear'? 'In the fridge', she says ...... you can guess the rest.
Ah, happy days!