I think I feel a song coming on: musicals about unlikely subjects

Jane R

Inspired by the Purgatory discussion about whether there are any subjects unsuitable for turning into a musical, here is a thread for imaginary musicals on unlikely subjects.

For example: Algae!

The tale of one man's struggle to eradicate algae from his garden pond, or alternatively the struggle of algae to withstand attacks on their very existence. Scenes with the Gardener ('In the Garden') are cleverly interspersed with 'Under the Microscope' when the chorus of algae get their chance to shine. With show-stopping numbers such as 'Clean the Pond!' and the triumphant finale 'Life Wins' sung by the chorus, this is sure to be a commercial and artistic success.

Doublethink

This seems like a good game - to the circus !

DT

Hedgehog

There is the drama of a chess master: We start off with him well-off, with several precious chess sets (as explained in the opening tune "King of the World." But he then falls for the crooked scheme of a com artist (the tragic "I've Been Rooked"), forcing him to try to pay his bills by putting his precious chess sets into hock ("Pawn Shop"). All to no avail, as he finds himself out on the streets and turns to his chess skills to play for money for food & drink ("Ten Knights in a Bar Room"). Rescued from the gutter by a kind-hearted woman from the Salvation Army ("Rank and File"), he is inspired to join Holy Orders ("Bishop for the Queen"). Finally, as a newly minted priest, he is listening to a confession from the con artist, and realizes that he must both find the ability to forgive (the soul-searing "Stalemate") while simultaneously convincing the con artist not just to confess his sins, but to turn himself over to the police for his crimes ("En Passant/In Passing").

stetson

Hedgehog wrote: »

There is the drama of a chess master: We start off with him well-off, with several precious chess sets (as explained in the opening tune "King of the World." But he then falls for the crooked scheme of a com artist (the tragic "I've Been Rooked"), forcing him to try to pay his bills by putting his precious chess sets into hock ("Pawn Shop"). All to no avail, as he finds himself out on the streets and turns to his chess skills to play for money for food & drink ("Ten Knights in a Bar Room"). Rescued from the gutter by a kind-hearted woman from the Salvation Army ("Rank and File"), he is inspired to join Holy Orders ("Bishop for the Queen"). Finally, as a newly minted priest, he is listening to a confession from the con artist, and realizes that he must both find the ability to forgive (the soul-searing "Stalemate") while simultaneously convincing the con artist not just to confess his sins, but to turn himself over to the police for his crimes ("En Passant/In Passing").

Well-played. You should find a way to work the goddess of chess, aka @Caissa, into a song.

(Though I will dock half a point in the novelty department, since there has, in fact, been a musical about chess, called, fittingly enough, Chess. I think all it ever got known for was the single One Night In Bangkok.)

Heavenlyannie

Elaine Paige and Barbara Dickson’s ‘I know him so well’ was also from Chess. Wiki tells me that Benny and Bjorn from ABBA wrote the music.

Amanda B Reckondwyth

How Green Was My Salad -- Residents of a remote country town decide that they need a healthier diet ("We Are What We Eat") and so pass an ordinance requiring that nothing but salad be eaten ("Beets For You, My Heart"). Popular at first ("Lettuce Begin"), the diet soon loses its appeal ("Blue Cheese Dressing for a Blue Lady") and leads to an outright rebellion ("No Room for Mushrooms" sung in counterpoint to "Chuck the Chick Peas, Please!"). Finally the townspeople decide that what they really need is a well stocked dessert bar ("Life Is Just a Bowl of Pudding"), and the show ends with a rousing finale ("Let Them Eat Cake!")

KarlLB

Treating a sick cat:

Get into the box - a chorus opening number involving the whole cast chasing the animal which now appears to be so lively as not to need a vet. A brief interlude mid-song subtitled I told you to lock the car flap nearly ends divorce for the cat's owners. The number ends in a tableau of exhausted chasers and a viciously angry boxed cat.

Come out Little Kitty,a duet between the Owner and the Vet as they coax the beast who now as reluctant to leave the box as he was to go in it earlier. Although normally a bass baritone is cast as the vet, the part ends on a high tenor C with optional E as the cat is extracted but rakes its rear claws down the vet's arm.

Just two grey pills in the morning and a white one in the evening - lilting number as the owner tries to remember the instructions but actually keeps changing the times, numbers and colours of the pills. Really two songs in one, as the owner's husband interjects with his own lyrics I can't believe those little bottles cost £60

End of Act 1

Act 2 opens with come on, they're good for you - a notoriously technically difficult number to sing, performed as it is hanging over the back of the sofa trying ro reach the spitting angry feline. Suddenly it bolts for the door where the owner's husband just fails to catch it. Segues directly into where has the sodding creature hidden/oh bugger I've dropped the tablet does it matter it's now covered in fluff?

What if we... a beautiful patter duet as the owner and the owner's husband come up with various ideas, snatching the tune from each other. They are interrupted by a knock at the door from the neighbour, who hearing their tale of woe suggests crushing the pill between spoons and sprinkling it on the food. They agree, leading straight into I think it pinged against the cupboard and went under the fridge, darling

The cat fails to improve, and the act ends with a reprise of Get into the box

Act III

Owners return and the act opens with This special diet he has to have costs more than our food! and ends as Evri arrive at the door with a distressingy small box for a sum equivalent to the GDP of a medium Central American republic. The Cat has his first solo number here, Heh heh I'll gobble it down then ruin their relief by refusing to ever touch it again. This is followed by the famous Night From Hell scene where the soprano Cat gets to scale well above the stave in the blues number Don't like this food at 3am.

There's then a reprise of What if we...? as the owners come up with more and more bizarre ideas to try to get the cat to eat. The cat looks on with a massive smile on his face as the owner and owner's husband are settled into the psychiatric wing of the nearby hospital, with a final reprise of Get into the box sung by the nurses.

Nick Tamen

Heavenlyannie wrote: »

Elaine Paige and Barbara Dickson’s ‘I know him so well’ was also from Chess. Wiki tells me that Benny and Bjorn from ABBA wrote the music.

Yes, and you can hear the ABBA connection in songs like “Nobody’s Side” and “Heaven Help My Heart.”

The most recent Broadway revival of Chess, starring starring Aaron Tveit, Lea Michele and Nicholas Christopher, just closed last month.

Caissa

One Night in Bangkok rocks.