Strange messages from church

Gracious Rebel · June 6

Just received this in an email circulated to our congregation

'xxxxxxx has reported that seagulls are attacking people walking along the front of the church. This probably means they are nesting on the roof. So please be watchful.'

What's the weirdest message you've received from church?

Stercus Tauri · June 6

Almost the same message a few years ago, but it was red-tailed hawks.

Baptist Trainfan · June 6

What you really want is a message such as, "We regret that the baptisms planned for today have had to be postponed, due to flooding".

Sandemaniac · June 6

As bellringers we don't get messages, we find out by osmosis. If we are lucky.

Twangist · June 6

The prophetic meeting has been cancelled due to unforseen circumstances

Lamb Chopped · June 6

Our best one was a note to seminarians newly assigned to our ethnic church: “The goldfish swimming upside down in our tank is not dead, and the cat in the living room window smushed between the glass and the outer storm window is not stuck. We just have weird pets.”

Aravis · June 11

“A plea for volunteers to come and set up for our Christmas Fayre on Saturday. If you can possibly help, we are gathering from 6pm on Friday to move the chairs, set up the various stalls and Satan’s Grotto.”