Today I Consign To Hell -the All Saints version

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  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    In my dreams, NEQ!
  • So sorry to read Piglet. Hope the next buyer is better prepared.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Oh no Piglet! I’m so sorry!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Time to move house (if that's feasible), ECraigR!
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    If not, can you complain to the landlord, @ECraigR?
  • I have no advice, sorry, but I offer you my best wishes that they stop. And perhaps a hope they bugger off for a holiday somewhere over this festive season and leave you in peace.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Climacus wrote: »
    I have no advice, sorry, but I offer you my best wishes that they stop. And perhaps a hope they bugger off for a holiday somewhere over this festive season and leave you in peace.

    And come back in a better mood.
  • You know, I'd be tempted to say to the landlord (in a very worried, chirpy way--you now, all twittery, like the White Rabbit being late) "Oh dear, I'm SO worried about the state of the ceiling in his apartment, and the floor in mine, all that slamming with a broom handle can't be good for it" and so on, and so forth. I suppose it's unlikely, but he might do something for the sake of his investment if not for the sake of your peace. If you can't look twittery, can your roommate?
  • OTOH, you could, passive-aggressively, increase your noise level to the point that the idiot must spend 24-7 on his broom handle. Add a pile of really loud classical music to the mess (preferably some really discordant 1980s string quartets), take up the drums or something, compete with the broom handle.
  • I lived with a neighbour from hell (this one was above me rather than below me), and it was incredibly stressful. My heart really goes out to you. I hope it gives you just a little peace of mind to have a roommate who is unperturbed by your neighbour's noise and rudeness. (At least he isn't going to scoot off and move elsewhere...)

    All best wishes for when you have your family coming over at Christmas. (((ECraigR)))
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    ECraigR--

    Two words for you: Klingon opera.

    Klingons are a warrior species in the Star Trek universe. Their opera is...interesting...and fans have written more--in the Klingon language.

    "Klingon Opera 'u' in Haus der Kulturen der Welt Berlin"

    Search YouTube for "Klingon opera" to find more. There's even Klingon karaoke!

    Note: I'm not seriously suggesting this--though if you don't crank it up too high...If you do use it, I disavow any knowledge of your actions.
    ;)

    But it may be a pleasant fantasy, and give you a laugh.

    More realistically: maybe some white noise to block the sound, or nature recordings. I know YouTube has the latter.

    Good luck!
  • Is there any chance that noise is travelling in such a way that it is very loud in his flat? A friend had upstairs neighbours, a quiet couple in their 30s with a toddler, with whom she was on pleasant neighbourly terms. They then replaced their bedroom carpet with laminate flooring and suddenly when she was in her bedroom she could hear everything that happened in their bedroom above her, to the extent that she could hear some of their conversations. She could hear every time they had sex ( from their overheard conversations, they were trying for a second child), and she was woken up every time their toddler woke up early and headed into his parents room.

    She didn't complain because she was embarrassed, they were nice, the laminate flooring had been expensive (another overheard conversation) and she'd heard them discussing moving to a bigger flat, plus the sex abated once the wife was pregnant. Her plan was to warn any purchasers of the flat; I'm not sure if that worked out.

    I'm not suggesting that there is any excuse for the banging and the obscenities, but your downstairs neighbour might be experiencing any noise as louder than you think.
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    ECraigR wrote: »
    TICTH my downstairs neighbor who has loud phone conversations past midnight, and yet who feel perfectly at ease to slam on the ceiling with a broom or something whenever I make any noise. This morning I groggily dropped my tablet (groggy because who can sleep when he’s yelling about whatever on the phone) and he slammed on his ceiling 7 times while shouting obscenities.

    I do not like him.

    Where is your broom during the loud telephone conversations? This may be a time for tit-for-tat. Boom! Boom! Boom!
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    It’s difficult if the relationship is already really bad, but if it’s still retrievable it might be worth calling on the neighbour below (perhaps even with a Christmas card and a small gift) and saying something along the lines of, “I’m really sorry you’ve been disturbed by noise from me. I do try and keep it down, but I think there’s a bigger problem with sound deafening between our flats because I can hear when you have phone calls late at night.”

    Recasting it as a mutual problem might help to move towards a solution, or at least an amelioration, and it might also encourage quieter conversations if it is thought they can be overheard.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited December 2019
    Some sensible ideas.

    One thought which flipped across my mind was to introduce (secretly) into the domicile of Downstairs Neighbour some form of mephitic Air, or Gas, which would render him sick or comatose.

    The author Wilkie Collins describes such an attempt in one of his novels (Armadale, IIRC).

    I DO NOT IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER AT ALL, AT ALL advocate such a drastic, and wicked, course of action, but it's tempting, no?
    :naughty:

    Given that TIACW, @BroJames suggestion is much more along the lines of 'What would Jesus do?'... :innocent:
  • While in college I was really upset with some of the women in my dormitory and their loud music. One evening I had HAD it! I put a stack of Karlheinz Stockhausen
    LPs* on my record player* and left my room, locking my door behind me. When I returned a few hours later the records had finished, my dorm was quiet, and no one ever said a word to me about it.

    *You can ask your grandparents what LPs and record players were!
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Could you put some cheap throw rugs on the floor, or on top of any existing carpet? Might reduce noise going to his place, and maybe to yours, too.
  • That's a good thought! Even better if you can get some carpet underlayment foam or that non-skiddy stuff. You could even take Brojames idea and add to it this: Take a notebook with you, and an earnest face, and earnestly ask the man's advice on what he has found to be the best noise-reducing rugs/etc. and have your pen poised to take notes. This will possibly disarm him and certainly put him on the backfoot. If you can cast it as your embarrassment over hearing his very ... personal .. phone calls right through the floor/ceiling, and what would he advise? all the better.
  • Good suggestion, if you can carry it off.

    The way noise travels in our present house is weird. When I am upstairs I can easily hear the television in the lounge which is below the bedroom, yet it cannot be heard at all downstairs in the kitchen which backs on to the lounge. So vertical travel not horizontal. Not sure why.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    I heard that sound travels downward in a building. Don't know if that's true.
  • SarasaSarasa All Saints Host
    edited December 2019
    i guess it depends on the thickness of the floor. We once had a neighbour who wasn’t happy with our small son jumping up and down on the floor, but then we weren’t happy with him falling asleep with Robbie Williams’ Angels on repeat. Is it possible your neighbour has dementia @ECraigR ? It sounds the sort of behaviour my mum indulged in when she was at home.
    I’m calling my internet and tv service provider to hell. Service has been down since Thursday morning due to damaged cables, which seem to be taking forever to fix. They keep on pushing back the estimated time of return of service. Grrr
  • ICTH the ignorant &*%*! from the local school who complained after their carol service about the words of In the bleak midwinter containing the word breast ("A breastful of milk, and a mangerful of hay..." because it "wasn't very nice" and was, she felt, "inappropriate" for children. She finished off her ignorant rant by asking why we didn't sing "the traditional words" of "a heartful of mirth...". I took great pleasure in informing her that I thought babes-in-arms were unlikely to have an appreciation of mirth at such a tender age and that, in any case, mirth wouldn't go a long way to succour a baby born in such adverse circumstances. I suggested her beef should be aimed at Christina Rossetti rather than me, at which point she asked why and who was Christina Rossetti :rage:
  • Did she object to the word "virgin" too?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    @TheOrganist, thanks for the chuckle!

    I confess I hadn't heard the "breast full of milk" version until I was well into adulthood, but that must have just been the particular editions I'd sung from. I'd have understood if a Victorian lady like Miss Rossetti might have cringed at the expression, but not a 21st century one!
  • Dear God in Heaven.

    Presumably this lady is the one who refuses to believe that HM the Queen actually goes to the loo, like the rest of humanity?
  • I have no problem with the breastful of milk ... it's all that d*mn*d snow I can't stand!
  • As a friend of ours claims she told her priest when he complained that he had seen her breast feeding her new baby in church, "That's what t*ts are for, Father!" Red faced priest and end of conversation.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    She finished off her ignorant rant by asking why we didn't sing "the traditional words" of "a heartful of mirth...". I took great pleasure in informing her that I thought babes-in-arms were unlikely to have an appreciation of mirth at such a tender age and that, in any case, mirth wouldn't go a long way to succour a baby born in such adverse circumstances. I suggested her beef should be aimed at Christina Rossetti rather than me, at which point she asked why and who was Christina Rossetti :rage:

    You should have told her to look for Christina Rossetti on Twitter or her Facebook page and take it up with her there :naughty:

    As for breastfeeding in church - I was at a service at the Cathedral once when the woman next to me started breast feeding. It was a much quieter, happier sound than a squalling baby.

  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited December 2019
    Dear God in Heaven.

    Presumably this lady is the one who refuses to believe that HM the Queen actually goes to the loo, like the rest of humanity?

    She's been on the throne for quite a few years, BF. Perhaps something with her diet?
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Wes--

    ROTFL!
  • TICTH the common cold. And all its variations and repetitions. Bah!!!!
  • I second that. I've been feeling very rotten the last couple of days with a bad cold.
  • ECraigR, I feel for your situation, but cannot offer any solution apart from moving. My betes noir left, but kept ownership and being a pain. They would bang long after I had gone up to bed.
    Sound travel can be odd. I had sound channelled up the stairs (on one occasion they used this, banging on the underside of the treads to make it sound as if someone had broken in), up the chimney structure, and the boxing round the water pipes. (Another occasion, one morning when I dared to use the loo twice in five minutes, I got banged at from a room they did not use except for the tumble drier.)
    A previous occupant downstairs had spent a deal of time stuffing the pipe boxing with screwed up newspaper to try to insulate either sound or heat.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I have no problem with the breastful of milk ... it's all that d*mn*d snow I can't stand!
    We have a lady in our choir who's in her mid-80s and can still sing the solo in In the bleak (Darke), absolutely beautifully, but with a lovely Suffolk accent: "Snew had fallen, snew on snew ..." :)
  • Oooh, that brings back memories of a Gloucestershire church about 15 years ago: although small it had a good choir with one splendid bass, blessed with a wonderful local burr. I've never forgotten him singing "The Borrres 'ead in and beer Oi" :grin:
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    Penny S wrote: »
    ...(Another occasion, one morning when I dared to use the loo twice in five minutes, I got banged at from a room they did not use except for the tumble drier.) ...
    Banging on the ceiling because you were using the loo too often? May they suffer the worst kind of food poisoning!
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    TICTH people who say or write "obituary" when what they mean is (paid) "death notice." An obit is a news story; a death notice goes under the heading of advertising. It makes it very confusing to talk to survivors who have been led to believe that they've bought an obit, and don't understand why a reporter wants information they don't find important - or won't run information (like the deceased's favorite charities) that they consider imperative.

    Another example of Creeping Websterization, this one demonstrably problematic...

  • They - or probably she - banged on the pipe boxing, as I recall. That was the point when I knew I was dealing with someone who wasn't entirely sane.
  • It might be possible to place a microphone and loudspeaker on the floor with an amplifier, so the person below gets back what he delivers. It would mess with his mind very nicely.
  • Seems as though his mind is a bit messed-up already... :scream:
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    My tablet for dying on Christmas eve taking with it the e-books I was reading and some much needed meditations. :bawling:

    I refuse to go out amongst the last minute shoppers to replace it.
  • O dear - I read 'tablet for dying' in a rather different context! I'm relieved to hear that you refer to your Engine Of Satan™, and hope that you manage to (a) survive without it, and (b) replace it soon.

    There may be some bargains in the post-Winterfest sales, if you have such things in NZ...
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    O dear - I read 'tablet for dying' in a rather different context! I'm relieved to hear that you refer to your Engine Of Satan™, and hope that you manage to (a) survive without it, and (b) replace it soon. [...]

    Crikey, I thought the same! - Like BF, I do hope that 'the words of our mouth, and the meditations of our hearts / be acceptable in thy sight / tonight,' seeing it is Christmas Eve Eve, and swift technological replacement may occur!

    (NB. If the link is not hellish enough, try their 'Mary's boy child, Jesus Christ.' That was deeply disturbing in the late 1970s.)
  • Felize Navidad.
    I don't care if that is how this is spelled or not. It's a terrible Christmas song (it's not a carol).
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    It's amazing the difference missing a comma makes to a sentence. :blush:

    We don't do "winterfest" as it is summer here - although you couldn't tell by the temperature.

    I've found some Christmas specials and also there is a retailer who will give Gold Card* discounts. It will not be as expensive as I had feared but the timing could have been better.

    *Gold cards are given to everyone over 65 here.
  • Are you certain it is truly dead? I thought my laptop had died but it hadn't. Hoping that something like that has occurred.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited December 2019
    Wesley J wrote: »
    ... I do hope that 'the words of our mouth, and the meditations of our hearts / be acceptable in thy sight / tonight,'
    I didn’t even need to click on that link - I knew what it was going to be, and I was right ... :mrgreen:
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Huia--

    Sorry about your tablet. I know zilch about them, but there's apt to be all sorts of stuff online (manuals, diagnostic procedures, Q & A sites) to help you figure out what's wrong, and maybe something you could try.

    Have had to do this with my computer.
  • Chest colds for Christmas. Both Mr Image and I spent the night trying to breath. Nasty colds. The dog is concerned. Thankfully family was here for the week-end and we can spend Christmas with bowls of chicken soup from the freezer. Second cold in the last four weeks. Totally unfair.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Hope you both feel better soon, GI!
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