TICTH people who DELIBERATELY start grass fires. People who start fires through negligence/stupidity - discarded barbecues, cigarettes, etc, deserve a slightly less hellish punishment, but hell none the less.
TICTH people who DELIBERATELY start grass fires. People who start fires through negligence/stupidity - discarded barbecues, cigarettes, etc, deserve a slightly less hellish punishment, but hell none the less.
Whoever invented the TV remote control should be boiled in oil because I waste hours of my life looking for the fucking thing. And I condemn myself to Hell for being the sort of person who several times a day puts things down and forgets where within seconds.
Yes, we were only trying to replace the fridge that came with the kitchen that was installed 14 years ago, because the door seal had split and was growing black mould. If we could have got a freestanding fridge it would have been much cheaper, gleaming bodywork notwithstanding, but would not have fitted.
TICTH people who DELIBERATELY start grass fires. People who start fires through negligence/stupidity - discarded barbecues, cigarettes, etc, deserve a slightly less hellish punishment, but hell none the less.
I was thinking of posting that, too. We are many miles away from the nearest one, but I still think I smelled it, the other night. And on Monday we had to change our travel plans (not that it was any problem) because the Heads of the Valleys road was closed due to a grass fire.
Our kids are always trying to hide the remote from each other (and therefore from us too) so that the other one can't choose what's on TV
If they haven't invented it yet, someone needs to invent a TV remote which has a bluetooth connection to your phone, so that you can press a button on the phone to make the remote beep in order to find it - or a similar connection with the TV.
Websites that have bright-colored letters on dark backgrounds. Fortunately, I almost always go to these sites out of pure curiosity, so there's nothing to stop me from leaving immediately.
Clearly, you'd need to have a bell by your chair to summon the Butler or Maidservant to do the deed for you - but surely that would be a good thing, providing Worthwhile Employment for the Needy Poor and keeping them off the streets.
(Or you could stop being lazy and do it yourself. That might even burn up a few unhealthy calories of fat!).
There is room for a hammock or two up above, on deck, but I rather think the Harsh Maritime Climate would make for an overly quick turnover of staff (in all senses).
And they'd get pecked by seagulls. (BTW Piglet - who seems to know about these things - would probably say that we in southern Ukland don't have the faintest notion of Harsh Climates).
... Piglet - who seems to know about these things - would probably say that we in southern Ukland don't have the faintest notion of Harsh Climates ...
I probably would!
Today's condemnation to the eternal flames is flooding* - specifically the sort that threatens people's homes and property. We're lucky that the porcine château is high enough up not to be affected, but we have friends whose summer cottage was badly damaged last year, and water has got into it again. They were better prepared this time, having had furniture, mattresses and whatnot slung from the ceiling on ropes, but it's still a worry.
* I know - the flooding would render the flames a bit less eternal ...
TICTH Update: A kindly friend (one who can bend over and look through things and doesn't mind doing so) found the missing bottom of my toaster oven's broiler pan. That's a relief!
TICTH the North East Man who sat me down and gently explained to me that I needn't fret about Tom and Natasha because (according to him) there is no such place as Ambridge; it is all fiction
Revenge will be had the next time he tries to watch Lord of the Rings
TICTH jalapeño peppers. Specifically, the jalapeño peppers embedded in an otherwise delicious pâté, which came from an assorted four-pack we bought yesterday in Costco. They looked interesting, and I hope the other three will live up to their appearance, but what is it with North Americans and hot peppers?
This particular abomination was labelled "roasted garlic and jalapeño", and I admit I opened it first on the assumption that it would be my least favourite. I was immediately greeted with an enticing aroma of garlic, and hoped that the little green bits might have come from a mild-ish member of the capsicum family*, but no such luck. An unpleasant glow ensued - I'm a heat wimp.
* They probably did - jalapeños barely register on the Scoville scale, but they're still way too hot for me.
Reminds me of an evening many years ago when I was back at work working on a project. The project manager said he'd buy me Subway for dinner, and asked me what meat I wanted and what vegetables. Excepting olives, I said the lot.
Well, the first three or so bites were fine. It was then I hit the jalapeño. I can barely handle the mildest hint of chilli hot food. To his comment that I said the lot, I meekly and humbly replied I did not consider food from the realms of hell "veggies". We did laugh...he straightaway, me afterwards.
It wasn't so much my mouth (although that was uncomfortable too) as unpleasant outbreaks of perspiration in silly places like my eyelashes and behind my left ear.
I have too much respect for my tastebuds to cauterize them with hot, spicy food. Avoiding it can be a challenge here in the (U.S.) Southwest, where there is so much Mexican food. I love Mexican food, but please hold all sorts of hot peppers!
Over the years, living in California I have worked my way up the scale on peppers. I started out with mild jar salsa, to where I like a bit of Jalapeño, and even a tiny bit of Serrano, but never with seeds or ribs.
I personally like Scotch Bonnets (one or two is enough for a two person chilli) but if I'm cooking for the kids I find they start complaining at a bit of hot paprika.
They'll get there.
Curries I'm fine with at various heats - some aren't meant to be particularly hot - but chillis' raison d'être is to taste of, well, chilli.
Funny thing is I like spicy stuff and I love cheese (I'm pretty sure I'm actually addicted to it; I was completely unsurprised when I discovered cheese addiction was a thing) but one thing I don't much rate is that Mexicana cheese they make with chillis.
I can handle jalapenos okay, and love poblanos, but I ran into some extravagantly hot chile sauce at a restaurant in Taos, New Mexico, served on my breakfast huevos rancheros (ranch style eggs). The capsaicin tore right through every sinus cavity in my face and chased me out of the restaurant into the street streaming tears from nose and eyes. I'm sure there were none of those fancy ghost peppers in it, just traditional, HOT New Mexico chiles. When I returned, much chastened, they fed me scrambled eggs, tortillas, and refried beans with a little cup of sauce on the side. And in the kitchen no doubt sniggered at the wussy tourist.
This isn't just a capsaicin thing. Once I tried fancy brined olives and the brine scoured my sinuses, too. My sinuses are sponge-like.
The day has not begun well. Bending down to plug in my straightening iron this morning, I clocked my temple against the corner of the chair and have given myself a black eye. Bugger.
(No one's commented so either my colleagues are very polite, or it's not as obvious to them as it is to me… but still)
Comments
That merely shows that your Thoughts are on Higher Matters.
I doubt it. Too late now anyway.
If they haven't invented it yet, someone needs to invent a TV remote which has a bluetooth connection to your phone, so that you can press a button on the phone to make the remote beep in order to find it - or a similar connection with the TV.
But....but.....you'd have to get out of your chair in order to find and work the buttons! This Cannot Be Borne!!!!!!!!
(Or you could stop being lazy and do it yourself. That might even burn up a few unhealthy calories of fat!).
Besides, I don't have a TV/Screaming Skull/Haunted Fish-Tank/Engine-of-Satan......(delete as applicable).....
Could not the staff reside in the Lower Decks or the Steerage? I'm sure you could hang a hammock or two ...
There is room for a hammock or two up above, on deck, but I rather think the Harsh Maritime Climate would make for an overly quick turnover of staff (in all senses).
Today's condemnation to the eternal flames is flooding* - specifically the sort that threatens people's homes and property. We're lucky that the porcine château is high enough up not to be affected, but we have friends whose summer cottage was badly damaged last year, and water has got into it again. They were better prepared this time, having had furniture, mattresses and whatnot slung from the ceiling on ropes, but it's still a worry.
* I know - the flooding would render the flames a bit less eternal ...
Revenge will be had the next time he tries to watch Lord of the Rings
(I never watch it, though - I'm more interested in spotting Cardiff locations in "Casualty"!)
This particular abomination was labelled "roasted garlic and jalapeño", and I admit I opened it first on the assumption that it would be my least favourite. I was immediately greeted with an enticing aroma of garlic, and hoped that the little green bits might have come from a mild-ish member of the capsicum family*, but no such luck. An unpleasant glow ensued - I'm a heat wimp.
* They probably did - jalapeños barely register on the Scoville scale, but they're still way too hot for me.
Reminds me of an evening many years ago when I was back at work working on a project. The project manager said he'd buy me Subway for dinner, and asked me what meat I wanted and what vegetables. Excepting olives, I said the lot.
Well, the first three or so bites were fine. It was then I hit the jalapeño. I can barely handle the mildest hint of chilli hot food. To his comment that I said the lot, I meekly and humbly replied I did not consider food from the realms of hell "veggies". We did laugh...he straightaway, me afterwards.
Jalapeno is Of Satan, and to be eschewed.......
Sorry - that was probably a bit TMI ...
They'll get there.
Curries I'm fine with at various heats - some aren't meant to be particularly hot - but chillis' raison d'être is to taste of, well, chilli.
*not being aware then of different languages and meanings
But I'm very happy to have cheese with chilli.
Firenze
Chilli Freak
Ideally has to be eaten with wooden implements on account of what it does to metal.
I have absolutely no idea - unless it's something to do with my tendency to chew with the left side of my mouth?
I do wish I could send the rest of it to those of you who'd appreciate it!
This isn't just a capsaicin thing. Once I tried fancy brined olives and the brine scoured my sinuses, too. My sinuses are sponge-like.
I think Firenze and I are exaggerating somewhat. I'm not aware of any genuine glaze or metal corrosive properties of capsaicin.
(No one's commented so either my colleagues are very polite, or it's not as obvious to them as it is to me… but still)