An Anglo-Saxon poet was talking to his friend down the ale house and telling him how he'd just finished his long poem about Beowulf. Just then a message came from the friend's wife saying it was time to come home. "Better be going," said the friend, "I shall see you Anon."
Terrible news coming from Merseyside this evening.
The Birkenhead Tunnel has been closed and the speed limit will be reduced for the foreseeable future to 25mph.
The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the tunnel approach recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, has confirmed in their report the problem was NOT Avian Flu but rather the cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts.
However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the ...bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with lorrys, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The Agency then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Lorry"
Wife: If your mother-in-law and wife were being attacked by a tiger, who would you save?
Husband: I would save the tiger. There are so few of them.
Get well cards can be sent to Husband who is in the ICU.
Comments
but at least they are having fun.
Your ducks likely hate you
for making them
line up like that.
a watermelon with cauliflower.
People who eat it can get
an amount of incredible sadness
known as Meloncauli.
Life is but a melancholy flower
You don't get down from trees you get down from ducks.
I heard elephants hide in trees and wait until a duck comes by and they jump on them. That's why ducks have flat feet.
A snooker table
Rupert the Fridge
Terrible news coming from Merseyside this evening.
The Birkenhead Tunnel has been closed and the speed limit will be reduced for the foreseeable future to 25mph.
The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the tunnel approach recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, has confirmed in their report the problem was NOT Avian Flu but rather the cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts.
However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the ...bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with lorrys, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The Agency then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Lorry"
Husband: I would save the tiger. There are so few of them.
Get well cards can be sent to Husband who is in the ICU.