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The Marriage Course

DavidKetelbyDavidKetelby Shipmate Posts: 2
in Purgatory
Have just begun co-leading 'The Marriage Course' at a church in the South of England, having been a customer on said course about eighteen years ago now.

I'm interested in others' thoughts about what they've found helpful and unhelpful about this course - from all points of view: customer, co-leader, interested bystander, whatever.

(I may have some perspectives to share, I thought I'd throw the discussion open first).

Comments

  • ArethosemyfeetArethosemyfeet Shipmate, Heaven Host
    Welcome to the ship, @DavidKetelby !

    Is this the HTB-produced one?
  • DavidKetelbyDavidKetelby Shipmate Posts: 2
    Arethosemyfeet wrote: »
    Welcome to the ship, @DavidKetelby !

    Is this the HTB-produced one?

    Thank you. And, yes - that's the one I mean.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    In our setting where for so many couples one or both of them live away, often quite a distance, it hasn’t really been practicable. We have to structure what we can offer in the way of marriage preparation rather differently.
  • CaissaCaissa Shipmate
    M C and my marriage course in the United Church of Canada was pretty useless. My sister's course in the Anglican Church of Canada bordered on the obtrusive. I think some of the questions asked by the priest were rather intimate and inappropriate.
  • TurquoiseTasticTurquoiseTastic Kerygmania Host
    Mrs TQTastic and myself found the HTB Marriage Course quite helpful when we did it a decade and more ago (not at HTB). I would not call it a "preparation" course exactly - we were already married and I think it is ideal for those recently married. Importantly it was very definitely not a "group discussion" thing - the idea is that you talk about the week's topic with your partner and only with your partner. This was its best feature I think. Good elements as I recall included the "how to argue with each other" topic and a surprisingly sensible segment on sex. As I remember it was not at all evangelistic and is definitely worth one's consideration even if you would run a mile from Alpha. All IMHO obviously.
  • Gill HGill H Shipmate
    We did it years ago (after marriage).

    It is of course a product of its environment, and therefore the videos might feel a bit alien to some.

    Provided you ensure that people feel comfortable taking the mickey out of the videos and disagreeing with anything in them if they wish, it’s fine. And yes, it’s not a group discussion, so while you can all be in a group to eat and watch the video, you need to ensure couples can talk unheard afterwards.

    People with children found the opportunity for a free meal with their other half was a huge benefit. (The churches arranged babysitters)

    From what I recall, most of the advice would apply to any long term romantic relationship, not just married people (and not just opposite-sex couples either).
  • ashleyashley Shipmate Posts: 9
    We did it many years ago at our church. The couple that lead it were very honest in explaining that they had neglected their relationship to the point he was almost ready to walk out and leave one night, but something made him stop and reconsider (I can't remember if the Holy Spirit was referenced but was certainly implied). That experience brought them both to a point of saying "hang on a minute", started properly listening and engaging with each other, and got themselves to a much better place.

    So the thrust of it was very much "We're not here to tell you not to get divorced, or to give divorcees a hard time, or to push any kind of idealised picture of marriage - we're here to help you invest in your relationships and make the best of them, whatever your starting point is." Which worked very well for us.
  • TwangistTwangist Shipmate
    edited September 19
    I would echo the positive comments above.
    I would suggest it's only as successful as the conversations the couples have.
    I would think it would be wise to have the option of helpful people to refer couples who are struggling to.
    We've done it twice the more recent videos are better than the old ones certainly in terms of production values.
  • TwangistTwangist Shipmate
    And it's htb so lots of class related issues potentially.
    For instance a weekly "date night" is a great idea if you can afford it plus a baby sitter etc
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