Extra well done, @Graven Image ! Resisting temptation is not easy. We have slightly reversed our book declutterring by bringing home two boxes of my late father-in-law’s books. However, previous book declutterring did mean that we could shelve them immediately.
Not sure what to do next. It could be sorting the many books that remain, maybe taking some more to Oxfam or NT next week. Or I could start on the CDs, music scores, LPs etc. and potentially getting rid of hi-fi kit.
Or my stash of memorabilia.
Clothes need sorting too. Not in a rush to start the next phase, but it’s a good idea to make use of the wet weather days.
Wet weather days are ideal for that sort of work @Puzzler. When there are a lot of things to sort, it's hard to know where to start, sister and I started with the most difficult (for us) things, which was the clothes. Others might feel that they need to start with the things that are easier to deal with and work up to the most difficult, everyone is different. I think the trickiest thing is just to start and then tick stuff off against the list. It all takes time and some of it is easier to send on than other stuff. A rest every so often is good too.
W... sister and I started with the most difficult (for us) things, which was the clothes ...
When I was clearing things after David died, IIRC his clothes bothered me less than I might have expected, but for some reason throwing away his toothbrush caused a major bout of eye leakage.
I kept a bookmark I had stitched for Dad. Years later, when I discovered how well cross stitch photocopies, I photocopied and laminated multiple copies so other people could enjoy using it.
I have seen suggested, taking a favourite clothing item, shirt or jumper for example, and making a cushion cover out of it.
The Cathedral ladies in Newfoundland had a custom of giving new members of staff aprons with their name in cross-stitch for them to wear while serving at Cathedral coffee mornings. I had David's one made into a "memory teddy" by a lady in Orkney; he's a very nice little bear.
Lovely, @Piglet, knowing your fondness for bears, what a perfect solution. My nephew who was around Dad's size took a few of his Sportscoats that he wore for work. Cheery son is much smaller and so I grabbed for him some ties that were my Dad's. If he doesn't want to keep them all in their tie state, we might look at having them made into a waistcoat. I'd not seen this done until my first boss who never wore a tie, came to work on his last day before retirement wearing a waistcoat of ties, which his partner had made.
More items have appeared on the auction house listing overnight and some finished last night and were enthusiastically bid on, so glad to know people with the same interest as Dad will have those items.
As for me, no decluttering much at present as it is very cold in our garage and the next batch of stuff to be examined lives there. It might have to wait until a warmish day as it's cooling down a lot now and winter oficially begins tomorrow!
After a week of mostly doing Other Things, I realise that nobody else is going to finish decluttering this house, and it is time I got to grips with the rest of it.
This morning I took a bootload of stuff to the Diocesan HQ where it was well received and will be distributed to those who can make use of it( or thrown out). A huge relief.
Back to the books and music next.
I had an unexpected visit from my son just now and, amongst other things, he started the dismantling of the hi-fi system. To be completed by his son, who was meant to be coming this weekend but has postponed to next weekend. At least I can start to clean out that corner, but it pushes me into needing to get rid of a load of vinyl records. About 20 LP boxed sets, and over 100 LPs, all classical music, plus a few singles , not classical. Nothing of any great rarity. Any ideas? I don’t care about making money. I am looking for easy options, anything other than landfill. Ideally, to a good home, but that’s hard to find.
I second the Ofam suggestion - they run an excellent second-hand record shop near us and took a lot of my husband's collection when we moved to a (much) smaller house.
Radical and sudden decluttering in order to move to a much smaller flat. I could not have done this before and honestly didn't think of myself or U as hoarders or storing junk, but after 23 years or so in this old cottage, there is so much junk: old files, forgotten rugs, duvets, socks, garage stuff, it is a big wake-up call.
The hardest has been giving away cherished pots and crockery because we loved cooking together and used everything, bringing out summer or winter tablecloths and crocket sets, saving up for Le Creuset pots for birthdays.
I know going minimal is the only way forward but it is emotionally rough and I lie awake at night feeling as if I am making horrible mistakes in all my choices.
Radical and sudden decluttering in order to move to a much smaller flat. I could not have done this before and honestly didn't think of myself or U as hoarders or storing junk, but after 23 years or so in this old cottage, there is so much junk: old files, forgotten rugs, duvets, socks, garage stuff, it is a big wake-up call.
The hardest has been giving away cherished pots and crockery because we loved cooking together and used everything, bringing out summer or winter tablecloths and crocket sets, saving up for Le Creuset pots for birthdays.
I know going minimal is the only way forward but it is emotionally rough and I lie awake at night feeling as if I am making horrible mistakes in all my choices.
I wonder if there is a way you can give yourself more time to grieve, while you make a start on your new home arrangements?
For example, could you leave some boxes of things stored with friend(s) while you get re-settled? You can always pass them on later if you find you can’t accommodate them.
It’s a such a tough time to be making decisions, I really do feel for you.
We got two LC casseroles and a roasting pan as wedding presents from my sister and b-i-l, and we added a small casserole and three saucepans when Debenhams were having a sale. I still have them all and still use most of them (the saucepans rather less so, as they have wooden and aluminium handles and don't go in the dishwasher); I wouldn't be without them. The inside base of the big round casserole is absolutely black, because David didn't understand that you could cook on less than the highest setting on the stovetop ...
I inherited quite a few pieces from my late mother ( who finally conceded that I was the only one of us who could cook) and foolishly allowed a somewhat grabby ( new) SIL to take a few. Acquired a few more as birthday & Xmas gifts over the last 40 years and gave a few to offspring. They are treasures to be enjoyed and passed on to them as appreciate fine cookware. They were affordable until as recently 20 years ago but not now.
I have, I think, two pieces - a large casserole now too heavy to lift if full, and an oven dish inherited from my MiL, which also doesn't see much use.
I buy pots and pans from a shop that sells to restaurants a lot, accept that they will likely last only a few years, but are the size and weight I can handle.
No, you are all right about the Le Creusets, they are not too heavy and even if I have to keep them under the bed, I would at some point want to cook in them. The heavier cast-iron pots gone but also keeping two small cast-iron skillets that have never let me down, and a little copper-lined pot for reducing sauces. What I use the most is what has to stay.
Sounds like you are making good, if difficult progress @MaryLouise. I hope you are able to take some time just to do nothing, so as to get some clear headspace. It really is a big job.
I hope you are able to access all the necessary things, especially boxes and packing to help you. My sister had a friend in hospital stores, who saved a lot of boxes for us. My sister had access to boxes to in her workplace. It sounds illy but just being able to not think about that can be helpful, when there are so many things to do simultaneously.
Full marks to my nearest NT property. Having rung up first, I took boxes of books and LPs . At the check-in point I was invited to park in the accessible car park and a lovely young chap came over in the shuttle bus and transferred them from my boot. I asked about Gift Aid, but as a member I didn’t need to sign anything.
So a few more books and some LPs decluttered. I wish I had had more ready. I took the opportunity for a short but pleasant walk before it got too hot. The nearest place was the adventure playground which was mostly shady and very quiet.
Still lots more to go but every load gone is good.
@Puzzler, I wasn't sure what NT stood for, but that does sound like a very satisfactory solution. It can be a very long process, sister and I took about 2 and a half years to go through all the stuff at the parental home. But every week something was done and it was just chip chip chipping away at it. I'm a real list lover because when it became overwhelming, I could pull out the list and see what had already been done, and I'd feel moderately successful, which would give me the oomph to keep going.
It's a physically and mentally tiring process though and we used to give ourselves a weekend off every so often. It's easy to get more overwhelmed if feeling tired and also to get rid of something that might be later regretted. That's how I found it, anyway.
Last few things are at the auction house now. A bit of a muddle with one picture which had been assigned with someone else's items. It didn't sell for much, so if it can't be resolved won't be a huge issue. I am surprised that my toy sewing machine is doing ok. I did have the original box and the instruction booklet as well as the power cord and handle, which was used if you wanted to sew slowly by hand turning. That's the last thing to go at present and I don't think I'll be revisiting decluttering until Spring, unless it's to go through my clothes and get rid of work stuff that I will probably not wear again!
Yes, sorry, NT=National Trust.
Thanks for the encouragement, Cheery Gardener.
I have lots more time available just now and over the summer and I need to make more effort. I am hosting a group meeting at my house on 12 July, so that gives me a target for getting downstairs sorted. No boxes in the hall waiting to be taken somewhere. Still plenty more to do upstairs in the study, but nobody needs to see that and I can shut the door and forget about it. (Ok for now, but it will still be there in a year’s time if I am not careful.)
For now, I have resolved to do things that immediately look better, or that I can finally cross off completely. Many things on my list are ongoing, I just chip away at them but can’t cross them off. I mentally said to myself it will take two years, starting after the Service of Thanksgiving which was a year ago tomorrow. There is still some more money to come in from things which are at auction, but apart from those, I just want things to go to a good home and not to landfill.
So downstairs tidy by 12 July, upstairs sorted by this time next year.
@Puzzler, steadily and hopefully no rash decisions, keeping the small size of the rooms in mind and determined not to have to throw out all over again when I move into the flat. (Right now I'm in a single room so everything will wait in storage.) Books are the hardest decisions because I am a great re-reader so giving books away is not easy, But getting there.
Glad to hear you are hanging in there @MaryLouise, it's tough! Will you have good storage that you can use to put books out of sight, but still have access to them? So much to think about and organise, it's a lot.
I get the out of sight and mind thing @Puzzler, too much stuff in our garage that needs to be gone through. Thank goodness I got rid of all the shredding! Problem with the garage stuff, is that some of it belongs to the kids and they are reluctant to part with, though daughter does appear ready to tackle some of her things before travelling, so I am pinning some hopes on that as well as perhaps that giving me incentive as well!
I suspect Cheery son's ideal job would be as a vendor of vintage toys and is waiting for all of his stuff to age appropriately!!
I tackled some drawers in the bureau. Far too much stuff. I will never use all the drawing pins ( 3 types), paper clips, staples, sellotape, glue, blutack, labels, pens, refills and pencils etc in my lifetime, but they are too good to throw away. At least I know what is there now.
We decluttered an entire office building full of such things and gave the extras to poor schools and school children (our very local way of funding schools means there are major inequities when it comes to what each school can afford). Anyone with extra office stuff might consider a school as beneficiary.
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Or my stash of memorabilia.
Clothes need sorting too. Not in a rush to start the next phase, but it’s a good idea to make use of the wet weather days.
The Cathedral ladies in Newfoundland had a custom of giving new members of staff aprons with their name in cross-stitch for them to wear while serving at Cathedral coffee mornings. I had David's one made into a "memory teddy" by a lady in Orkney; he's a very nice little bear.
@Huia and @Doublethink, I love those ides for great mementos.
More items have appeared on the auction house listing overnight and some finished last night and were enthusiastically bid on, so glad to know people with the same interest as Dad will have those items.
As for me, no decluttering much at present as it is very cold in our garage and the next batch of stuff to be examined lives there. It might have to wait until a warmish day as it's cooling down a lot now and winter oficially begins tomorrow!
This morning I took a bootload of stuff to the Diocesan HQ where it was well received and will be distributed to those who can make use of it( or thrown out). A huge relief.
Back to the books and music next.
The hardest has been giving away cherished pots and crockery because we loved cooking together and used everything, bringing out summer or winter tablecloths and crocket sets, saving up for Le Creuset pots for birthdays.
I know going minimal is the only way forward but it is emotionally rough and I lie awake at night feeling as if I am making horrible mistakes in all my choices.
I wonder if there is a way you can give yourself more time to grieve, while you make a start on your new home arrangements?
For example, could you leave some boxes of things stored with friend(s) while you get re-settled? You can always pass them on later if you find you can’t accommodate them.
It’s a such a tough time to be making decisions, I really do feel for you.
Yes, prayers from here too
We got two LC casseroles and a roasting pan as wedding presents from my sister and b-i-l, and we added a small casserole and three saucepans when Debenhams were having a sale. I still have them all and still use most of them (the saucepans rather less so, as they have wooden and aluminium handles and don't go in the dishwasher); I wouldn't be without them. The inside base of the big round casserole is absolutely black, because David didn't understand that you could cook on less than the highest setting on the stovetop ...
Yes, may decide later on that you'd like to cook with it occasionally, and the replacement cost would be prohibitive.
I inherited quite a few pieces from my late mother ( who finally conceded that I was the only one of us who could cook) and foolishly allowed a somewhat grabby ( new) SIL to take a few. Acquired a few more as birthday & Xmas gifts over the last 40 years and gave a few to offspring. They are treasures to be enjoyed and passed on to them as appreciate fine cookware. They were affordable until as recently 20 years ago but not now.
I buy pots and pans from a shop that sells to restaurants a lot, accept that they will likely last only a few years, but are the size and weight I can handle.
I hope you are able to access all the necessary things, especially boxes and packing to help you. My sister had a friend in hospital stores, who saved a lot of boxes for us. My sister had access to boxes to in her workplace. It sounds illy but just being able to not think about that can be helpful, when there are so many things to do simultaneously.
I'm really thinking of you
So a few more books and some LPs decluttered. I wish I had had more ready. I took the opportunity for a short but pleasant walk before it got too hot. The nearest place was the adventure playground which was mostly shady and very quiet.
Still lots more to go but every load gone is good.
It's a physically and mentally tiring process though and we used to give ourselves a weekend off every so often. It's easy to get more overwhelmed if feeling tired and also to get rid of something that might be later regretted. That's how I found it, anyway.
Last few things are at the auction house now. A bit of a muddle with one picture which had been assigned with someone else's items. It didn't sell for much, so if it can't be resolved won't be a huge issue. I am surprised that my toy sewing machine is doing ok. I did have the original box and the instruction booklet as well as the power cord and handle, which was used if you wanted to sew slowly by hand turning. That's the last thing to go at present and I don't think I'll be revisiting decluttering until Spring, unless it's to go through my clothes and get rid of work stuff that I will probably not wear again!
Thanks for the encouragement, Cheery Gardener.
I have lots more time available just now and over the summer and I need to make more effort. I am hosting a group meeting at my house on 12 July, so that gives me a target for getting downstairs sorted. No boxes in the hall waiting to be taken somewhere. Still plenty more to do upstairs in the study, but nobody needs to see that and I can shut the door and forget about it. (Ok for now, but it will still be there in a year’s time if I am not careful.)
For now, I have resolved to do things that immediately look better, or that I can finally cross off completely. Many things on my list are ongoing, I just chip away at them but can’t cross them off. I mentally said to myself it will take two years, starting after the Service of Thanksgiving which was a year ago tomorrow. There is still some more money to come in from things which are at auction, but apart from those, I just want things to go to a good home and not to landfill.
So downstairs tidy by 12 July, upstairs sorted by this time next year.
@MaryLouise, how is it going for you?
@Puzzler, steadily and hopefully no rash decisions, keeping the small size of the rooms in mind and determined not to have to throw out all over again when I move into the flat. (Right now I'm in a single room so everything will wait in storage.) Books are the hardest decisions because I am a great re-reader so giving books away is not easy, But getting there.
I get the out of sight and mind thing @Puzzler, too much stuff in our garage that needs to be gone through. Thank goodness I got rid of all the shredding! Problem with the garage stuff, is that some of it belongs to the kids and they are reluctant to part with, though daughter does appear ready to tackle some of her things before travelling, so I am pinning some hopes on that as well as perhaps that giving me incentive as well!
I suspect Cheery son's ideal job would be as a vendor of vintage toys and is waiting for all of his stuff to age appropriately!!