Today I Consign To Hell -the All Saints version

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  • No, no - clearly that's why you had an accident!

    NO COCOA!
    :wink:
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Firenze--
    Firenze wrote: »
    Oh, I want someone to ask me about my skincare regime so that I can tell them I have my face licked nightly by tiny fairy kittens. (I'm pretty sure they wouldn't ask me anything further).

    Or tell them you're a devotee of fish pedicures. (A real thing. I'll let you look it up, as you like, 'cause IMHO it's kind of gross.)

  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    BF--
    You are all very Bad Bunnies, and NONE of you shall have Cocoa tonight!
    :mrgreen:

    Channeling Peter Rabbit's mama?
  • The very same... :wink:
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Golden Key wrote: »
    Firenze--
    Firenze wrote: »
    Oh, I want someone to ask me about my skincare regime so that I can tell them I have my face licked nightly by tiny fairy kittens. (I'm pretty sure they wouldn't ask me anything further).

    Or tell them you're a devotee of fish pedicures. (A real thing. I'll let you look it up, as you like, 'cause IMHO it's kind of gross.)

    I know about fish pedicures. They can go terribly wrong if you use piranha.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I suppose after that, you'd never need to fork out for a pedicure again ...

    I'll get my coat.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Firenze--

    They can go terribly wrong with the usual "harmless" fish, too. E.g. bacterial infections. When I did a quick search last night, I learned that toes have been lost that way.

    {Throws soft pillow at Piglet.}
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    {catches pillow} :mrgreen:
  • I needed gin after I spent a total of 2 hours on three different phone calls to straighten out insurance mistake. Letter arrived telling me payment was on hold and told me to call a number to talk to an agent. I called the number as instructed. They kept telling me to call different numbers and putting me on hold because they could not find me in the system, and giving me to a robot voice that told me to pick 1,2,3 non of which were my problem and got me in a loop.. I gave up Finally on the second day I called another number I had on file got through to a human being who fixed problem in less then 2 minutes. Lord in your mercy hear our prayers.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    You definitely need GIN after that!
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    TICTH my own clumsiness gene, which led to me going over on my ankle while fetching the logs in from outside the gate. I have torn all the ligaments and now am laid up on the sofa while poor Mr S waits on me hand and foot (ha!) and I reflect on all the things I should have been doing and now can't :rage:
    Oh, no, Mrs. S! I hope you improve rapidly and completely.

  • Thank you Ross - it is much improved, apart from three toes black with bruising and one obstinate point of pain. However in view of everyone else's stoicism I shall button it and not complain here!
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Ouch @The Intrepid Mrs S , take care!
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
  • Cambers on pavements - my scooter went over trying to avoid a pile of parents picking up their children from the school at the end of our row. I suspect I have pulled muscles in my thigh, it’s very painful.
  • Priscilla wrote: »
    Cambers on pavements - my scooter went over trying to avoid a pile of parents picking up their children from the school at the end of our row. I suspect I have pulled muscles in my thigh, it’s very painful.
    Healing prayers Priscilla. So sorry for the spill.


  • O what bad luck Priscilla. Hope you recover quickly.
  • The local authority which has arranged major roadworks limiting access to the crematorium without providing adequate signage.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    {{{{{{{Everybody}}}}}}}
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Vodafone.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited January 2020
    My V*dafone dongle wasn't working a couple of hours ago, but it is now...

    I still have BT to fall back on if necessary, but it's so slooooooooooow...
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    TICTH paperwork. Canadian paperwork, British paperwork ... :confounded:
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Piglet--

    Could send you American paperwork, if you like. ;)
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    edited February 2020
    My V*dafone dongle wasn't working a couple of hours ago, but it is now...

    I still have BT to fall back on if necessary, but it's so slooooooooooow...

    Daft sods took a week to activate a new sim. What really bugged me was the way that every time I contacted them they were absolutely sure it would be done in a couple of hours. They say whatever they think you want to hear. No interest in fixing things.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Golden Key wrote: »
    Piglet--

    Could send you American paperwork, if you like. ;)

    GK, you're too kind!

    Having decided I probably needed advice from an Actual Human™, I went to the Service Canada office yesterday to find a queue a mile long, and an expected waiting time of about two hours (doesn't this suggest that they might need a few more staff?), thought, stuff this for a lark and decided to leave it until Monday morning (it was about 3 in the afternoon, and while they said that once you're in the queue, you'll eventually be served, I couldn't face it).

    Then schlepped off to the offices of the moving company to leave in their paperwork* and found that despite a notice on the door saying they were open until 5 (it was quarter to four), they were decidedly shut.

    * The e-mail I got from them was a bit ambiguous as to whether scanning and e-mailing would be sufficient or physical copies were needed, so I thought better safe thsn sorry ...

  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Piglet next time I suggest taking a thermos with a hot drink, nibbles, and something to read about the length of War and Peace.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited February 2020
    That might be an idea ...

    I'll maybe bring my Tablet and try and do the Grauniad crossword, but what's the betting they haven't got wi-fi?
  • Download it first?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    As it turned out, I didn't have to wait for too long - and I got what I wanted to do done (well, started at least).
  • MooMoo Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    TICTH the retirement of my old handyman, who had a plumber's license, an electrician's license, and good carpentry skills.

    The substitutes I have found are very unsatisfactory.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited February 2020
    TICTH me, for misplacing my spectacles. I've invoked the name of St. Anthony (and practically dismantled the sofa), but to no avail. :(
  • They can be incredibly bouncy. When mine get knocked off my bedside table I sometimes have to enlist the Dragonlets in hunting all around as I can't see without them.
  • Go order a new pair. They'll turn up like magic. :mrgreen:
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Piglet--

    There are online sites for glasses with good prices. You need to know what your prescription is (e.g. 20/40) and the distance between your pupils. (Used to figure out sizing.)

    I've had good experiences with one. I just checked, and they still have some glasses priced as low as $6.95 US. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to directly name the site here, but it's the one that starts with Z and sounds Buddhist. ;) If you want a direct name or link, Piglet, please PM me.

    Good luck!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Update - my host, M., picked them up by mistake and went out to a meeting with them in her handbag.

    I had a feeling something like that must have happened when they didn't seem to be anywhere I'd been.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Piglet--

    !YAY! I've had things wander off on their own.
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    edited February 2020
    It isn't true about the originals turning up when replacements are acquired. The magic has failed with my leather backed Shakespeare (in the house somewhere), and is currently failing with my spare house keys, lost outside the houose somewhere. (Not, fortunately, identifiably linked to my address, but, sadly, attached to a sentimentally valuable leather tag.)
  • Go order a new pair. They'll turn up like magic. :mrgreen:

    yes, we've had a key for my wife's car missing for at least 2 years. Now that she has ordered a replacement and is picking it up this weekend, I expect the other missing key will turn up.

    Of course, given that they have to perform electronic re-coding trickery on the new and existing key, if the prodigal returns, it will be useless
  • @Penny S , let the Find Ings be mobilised! Sounds like high time they did some work...
  • And TICTH my missing Mend Ing. The Ark's wheelhouse door has come off one of its hinges, and I've just spent two hours trying to fix it.

    No luck - a temporary lash-up will have to do, until either the Mend Ing comes on duty, or I summon a Friend Wot Knows How To Fix Things...
  • Ah, but you would have to replace them with the exact same thing (e.g. leather-backed Shakespeare, not a cheaper version, and same freaking tag, not a substitute). Only after going to all that trouble will the gods of lost things laugh and throw your stuff back at you.
  • Ah, but you would have to replace them with the exact same thing (e.g. leather-backed Shakespeare, not a cheaper version, and same freaking tag, not a substitute). Only after going to all that trouble will the gods of lost things laugh and throw your stuff back at you.

    Often, I find I just have to "pretend" I don't care, and stuff comes boomeranging back. Often doesn't work under time constraints, unfortunately.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    I hope my mislaid library book appears. It could be in either bedroom, both are in the process of being rearranged. I did find a $25 Garden Centre voucher though :smiley:
  • There was one thing I lost (can't remember what) and I had to go through the entire house, three floors, starting at the top, during the search producing an inventory of what was where (now completely unreliable) until I reached the very last place in a corner of the ground floor study, where the lost was found. (Biblical reference was made!) My father used to comment that people saying "it was the last place I looked" were not using the language well, since no-one would go on looking after finding whatever it was, of course it was the last place. But in that case, it was the last place.
    Lost the car keys yesterday. Found them, though, after using the spares, which had themselves been found the day before after being lost during the troubles. I'd actually put them somewhere very sensible! And remembered where!
    The Shakespeare bothers me because it never left the house, and somewhere, my brain ought to know where I put it down. The keys left the house and could have been dropped without my noticing.
  • I once took four teens and two guitars to a weekend camp in my very small car. On returning home, my thick heavy expensive Study Bible was not to be found. Everytime I needed it, I got more and more sorry for myself. Finally, before a similar camp the following year, I bought a new one. On loading up the car, and not wanting it to get banged up, I decided to slip it underneath the driver's seat in a space that was pretty much exactly the size of the book. I had to get right down on my knees to figure out why it wouldn't go in. Sure enough, there was the "lost" Bible. If anyone needs one, I have two.

    And, in order to not just continue a tangent but also add to the thread, TICTH bureaucratic paperwork and the neverendingness thereof.
  • Pectus Excavatum
    !5 year old Grandson just been diagnosed. He is the middle, supposedly 'normal', one between two siblings with complex genetic disabilities, including autism, for whom he has shared caring duties with his parents. This seems so unfair!
  • I'm sorry to hear that. No fun at all.
  • RoseofSharon, many years ago, I accompanied a friend while her son had surgery for this. It wasn't fun but it made a huge difference. I hope that something can help your grandson.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    {{{RoS and your grandson}}}

    I do hope they can sort it with surgery.
  • Thank you for the encouraging words.
    He has been referred to the hospital, so now we wait for an appointment to find out what effect it is having on his internal organs, and if surgery is necessary. Just hoping he doesn't have to wait too long.
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