Today I Consign To Hell -the All Saints version

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  • Creaking open the door to this thread...
    Hello. Today I should like to CTH the PTB in charge of relocating our offices. 8 years in the same place (colleagues have been there much longer). Rumours of moves for about a year, repeated “so how many rooms to you need on which days?” requests. I think we’ve submitted that info about 4 times now.
    Finally, moving day came. Off to the new premises we went, to be confronted by some seriously pissed off nurses who told us there was no room for us there. Oh well, it’s not as though we have fully booked clinics starting next week or anything. :neutral:
  • 8 years - nothing much. When I was a child we moved into a house on a "temporary" basis and were moved out 18 years later into another "temporary" house because the Parsonages Board still hadn't got its act together and managed to agree plans for the replacement, never mind get it built - that took another 3 years. And the bespoke, architect designed specially to fit the purpose house was such a success it has since been demolished.
  • KarlLB wrote: »
    Click that and I'm sure your google ad feed will get interesting. I'm certainly not going to. This is a work PC...

    Well, I clicked...and found that the firm supplies such things as sporrans, belts etc., to shops across Scotland. Nothing too outre at all, apart from what they describe as the 'infamous' Lochgelly tawse, though I do wonder what they might supply you with on request, as commissions are invited...

    TICTH, therefore, companies called 'Dick', which don't have anything...interesting...on their website, as a result of which I have wasted my time.
    :weary:

  • 8 years - nothing much. When I was a child we moved into a house on a "temporary" basis and were moved out 18 years later into another "temporary" house because the Parsonages Board still hadn't got its act together and managed to agree plans for the replacement, never mind get it built - that took another 3 years. And the bespoke, architect designed specially to fit the purpose house was such a success it has since been demolished.

    Blimey, that is some shoddy treatment.
    I don’t mind the moving all that much - of course I’d rather stay where we are, but needs (apparently) must. It’s the piss up in a brewery level of organisation and communication that’s Hellworthy.
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    edited August 2019
    I got a school off the list for teaching practice as a result of observing a slippering - child size plimsoll (gym shoe). It's a bit late, but the teacher needed calling to Hell. In the class I was being a student in was a boy from an older year, held back because he was a slow learner, and given to adorning his work with bits of anatomy. One lunchtime, other boys his age sent him out of the school grounds to buy them sweets - obviously forbidden, but he wanted friends. They then snitched that he had gone out. The class teacher hauled him out of the class with me as witness, and walloped him. Six times on the posterior, teacher's face distorted with hatred. Pause, during which I thought, "Thank God that's over", only for the assault to be repeated. Six more times. (I can't remember who told me about the back story of this.) But I reported it to my tutor. I don't know what was done immediately, but the school disappeared from the list the college used.
  • Recruitment agencies. Applied for a job for which (pause to blow trumpet) I thought I was ideally qualified. Had to fill in one of those bloody stupid questionnaires where you agree or disagree with damn stupid comments like " I never make mistakes". I get a rejection. Have just sent a stinking e-mail which they won't read, suggesting next time they actually read the cv rather than relying on some HR prat's idea of fun.
    I'm annoyed and need gin.
  • *clinks glasses*

    What a stupid questionnaire! So sorry for the pain of going through it.

    I have had bad experiences. Including one who after 2 or 3 rejections did nothing for me, and then when I found a job on my own and he called, 1 month or so later, blasted me for not sticking with him. Good Lord.
  • Penny S - sounds hugely frustrating! A curse on mindless questionnaires which do nothing to help you or future employers :angry:
  • I've not had to apply for a job since '97. I dread all this online shenanigans, but I might have 20 years left in the labour market. Golly...
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Climacus wrote: »
    *clinks glasses*

    What a stupid questionnaire! So sorry for the pain of going through it.

    I have had bad experiences. Including one who after 2 or 3 rejections did nothing for me, and then when I found a job on my own and he called, 1 month or so later, blasted me for not sticking with him. Good Lord.

    There is a saying - if your job title ends in "Agent" but doesn't start with "Secret" or "Special", there's a good chance you're a tool.
  • I like it!
  • KarlLB wrote: »
    Climacus wrote: »
    *clinks glasses*

    What a stupid questionnaire! So sorry for the pain of going through it.

    I have had bad experiences. Including one who after 2 or 3 rejections did nothing for me, and then when I found a job on my own and he called, 1 month or so later, blasted me for not sticking with him. Good Lord.

    There is a saying - if your job title ends in "Agent" but doesn't start with "Secret" or "Special", there's a good chance you're a tool.

    Is that in the Welsh sense of "tool"?
  • And is that tools with or without a mission?
    For context, https://www.twam.uk/
  • TWAM is an excellent initiative, I used to live in Ipswich and visited them more than once.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    sionisais wrote: »
    KarlLB wrote: »
    Climacus wrote: »
    *clinks glasses*

    What a stupid questionnaire! So sorry for the pain of going through it.

    I have had bad experiences. Including one who after 2 or 3 rejections did nothing for me, and then when I found a job on my own and he called, 1 month or so later, blasted me for not sticking with him. Good Lord.

    There is a saying - if your job title ends in "Agent" but doesn't start with "Secret" or "Special", there's a good chance you're a tool.

    Is that in the Welsh sense of "tool"?

    Well, it doesn't mean you're a pair of pliers.
  • I think any teacher who wears slippers to school deserves a good flogging.
  • TICTH a near neighbour who, for the last fortnight has - I think - being paving over his garden. The noise of his stone-cutting saw and tap-tapping with a hammer is freaking me out!
  • Ha! He will probably be encouraging his garden to (a) flood, and (b) be overrun with rats.

    May it be so - but confined entirely to HIS land...
  • Hmm ... I don't like the sound of rats ... we have had them burrowing through from that side, when the previous people were there.
  • No, indeed - but my Episcopal Curse™ is efficacious enough to ensure that the said rats (if rats there should be) will remain confined to your neighbour's land.

    The same applies to potential flooding...
  • Actually, we're uphill from them ... There is a Damp and Shady Patch literally at the bottom of our garden where we've planted ferns and stuff.

    I'm not sure that the said Curse will work as Baptists don't have bishops. It may well be too that Welsh rats are chapel-goers or (more likely these days) atheists.
  • The True Episcopal Curse™ transcends (or doesn't recognise) denominations/lack of belief etc..

    It is an Ecumenical Curse.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    **No one** expects the Episcopal Curse! Its chief weapon is water and rats. Its *two* chief weapons are water, rats, and slippery snail-slimed sidewalks. Its *three* chief weapons are water, rats, slippery snail-slimed sidewalks, and a future of only stale doughnuts available at work coffee breaks and church coffee hour...

    Now, where did the Archbishop of Canterbury put that comfy chair?

    {With a grateful nod to Monty Python.|
  • Doughnuts? We only have biscuits!
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    If you were so cursed, the biscuits would be taken away, and replaced with stale doughnuts. Mwahahahaha.
  • Pot holes in the street, I have lived in this town for 15 years, and I swear some holes are that old. One with time learns where they are and drives accordingly. Turn left at the post office and go the long way rather then right to avoid that big hole on first street. Where is my gas tax money, my yearly car tax money, my state income tax money, and the local real estate tax money going? None of it to repair the roads it seems.
  • The first Mrs BF worked in a certain Kent town, notorious in the 80s for the poor state of its roads.

    We had a sticker in the back window of our car - 'I'm a M**ds***e Pothole-Dodger'.
  • Well, it's clearly not Margate ... Mordslide perhaps? Or Meldspate? Oh, you mean M**ds***e - why didn't you say?

    Cardiff generally roads come in two types (there are exceptions). 1. Dire. 2. Worse. The wet winter weather doesn't help.
  • Well, it's clearly not Margate ... Mordslide perhaps? Or Meldspate? Oh, you mean M**ds***e - why didn't you say?

    Even this Yank understood.
    :wink:

  • Jengie JonJengie Jon Shipmate
    edited August 2019
    You clearly do not know how bad it gets up North. We even had a shopping centre built in one. When they filled it in they used all their groundfill for the next ten years :wink:

    More seriously, though not much, as a good Northerner I blame Maggie Thatcher for the holes in the road around here. Many are due to mining subsidence and working pits do not subside very often.
  • This bloody job. I have never been somewhere where it is so bleedingly obvious that no-one talks to anyone.
  • Sorry to hear that Climacus, sounds mega frustrating...
  • So sorry Climacus to hear that your work environment is not a place of joy.
  • Thanks to you both. It is a lovely environment usually. I am just sick of walking into meetings to gather requirements to find out they have told the project leadership team they want something completely different (and I know nothing about this) and what I'm talking about is something they are not remotely interested in nor will they support it for funding.
  • Grrrrr! It does sound frustrating....
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Frustrating, rude and time wasting, @Climacus! Peace be with you.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    After the February 2011 quake a pothole opened at the end of our street you could fit a saloon car into. It was fixed quite quickly given everything else that was going on.
  • OhherOhher Shipmate
    May the devisers of all Learning Management Systems everywhere rot in the bowels of Hell forever, especially CANVAS. I am a fucking ENGLISH TEACHER. Here's what I have to think about with every single draft of every single paper by every single student: the content; the organization; the purpose; the audience; the tone; the logic (or more usually illogic) used to argue points; the style; the word choices; the usage; the spelling; the punctuation; the stupid nonsense they pull trying to make a 2-page paper look like a 4-page one. WHY DO YOU IMAGINE THAT I HAVE THE LUXURY OF SPENDING 3 HOURS OF MY MORTAL EXISTENCE TRYING TO DELETE A FUCKING FILE?

    WHY, in the name of all that's good and holy, can't you FIRST design your frigging platform or program or whatever-the-fuck you call it, try it out on gormless technophobes like me, fix the glitches, and then roll out the finished product AND LEAVE IT THE FUCK ALONE -- STABLE, SECURE, UNCHANGING????? Why must you roll out MAJOR UPGRADES that require me to learn a whole new fucking set of fucking bells and whistles I have NO use for every fucking semester just in order to be able to DO MY FUCKING JOB????!!!!!!

    AND WHY CAN I NOT DELETE A FRIGGING FILE UPLOADED IN ERROR????!!!!
  • Oddly enough, at my last place where we used Blackboard all we seemed to hear was Canvas was the bees knees as it was so popular.

    I am so sorry, Ohher. While I was not responsible for LMS support, many academics vented to me about how difficult it was to do the most basic thing.
  • I think the NSW Department of Education takes the world championship for LMS development. It is now nine years since I left the service of the department, when the optimistic developers were saying trials would commence in the following January. The latest announcement I have seen is that the system may finally be rolled out to schools in January 2020, after a complete fiasco of implementation in the technical education sector. How many more special needs students could have been supported by the funds wasted?
  • Jengie JonJengie Jon Shipmate
    edited August 2019
    @Ohher

    I believe that in its latest modernisation Hell has a level for people who wrote computer systems to aid people and never bothered to do comprehensive testing. In this level, they are made to test a computer system and each time they find a glitch they have to fix it, that then creates another ten glitches in the system. They then have to find these glitches and fix them. Just to add to the torment the programming environment they have to use is filled with its own set of glitches and likely to lose the fresh code just before you make it live.
  • At the Large Computer Company where I used to earn a crust (along with DaisyDaisy!) they were notorious for giving developers brand new kit (of course!) while we, the Lowly Worms who had to implement these systems, were struggling along with 3- and 4-year old laptops, often using out of date operating systems with insufficient memory, and wondering why no-one, but no-one, could make the bl**dy system work!

    Mrs. S, feeling her blood pressure rising again :grimace:
  • Ohher wrote: »
    May the devisers of all Learning Management Systems everywhere rot in the bowels of Hell forever, especially CANVAS.

    How easy can they give your work to someone else? With this stuff I used to be a Good Boy (on the Blackboard 'VLE') at whatever cost to my own sanity, but these days I think I'd pretend to think I got it all correct, and then watch the wheels fall off at the board of examiners with the externals present. At least the externals' report ('your VLE is a pile of shit') would get minuted and floated upwards. Or at least leave the duff marks in and copy the head of department into something saying they were duff, and there seemed nothing you could do about it. Folks who played much bigger w*nkers than that made it regularly to retirement.
    Ohher wrote: »
    I am a fucking ENGLISH TEACHER....

    :smile: That made me laugh. I am an engineer, and one reason I got out of lecturing was realising the months that went by without thinking about engineering!
  • Bloody trains!
    Though to be fair it is not their fault- another poor soul chose to end their life on the railway line but the upshot is my journey has been delayed and I will struggle to reach my daughter in time for the handover of care for Little Beaky.....
  • Another engineer... I have to admit I had never even heard of learning management systems, thought we must have had them. They were called 'teachers'.
  • OhherOhher Shipmate
    Another engineer... I have to admit I had never even heard of learning management systems, thought we must have had them. They were called 'teachers'.

    That would be me. Alas, I am now required by the institution which "compensates"* me for my time, attention, and expertise to interpose this megalithic, complicated, unwieldy, error-bedeviled, unfit-for-purpose, technological interface monstrosity between me and my students, taking time away from the instruction in composition which I actually qualified to offer and am SUPPOSED to be offering, and spending that time and energy on navigating this Kafka-esque nightmare of a learning management system in hope that eventually we might have a few spare moments left over for the ACTUAL FUCKING COURSE I AM MEANT TO BE TEACHING.

    *An obscene exaggeration of a very loosely-defined use of the term "compensation."
  • Ohher wrote: »
    Another engineer... I have to admit I had never even heard of learning management systems, thought we must have had them. They were called 'teachers'.

    That would be me. Alas, I am now required by the institution which "compensates"* me for my time, attention, and expertise to interpose this megalithic, complicated, unwieldy, error-bedeviled, unfit-for-purpose, technological interface monstrosity between me and my students, taking time away from the instruction in composition which I actually qualified to offer and am SUPPOSED to be offering, and spending that time and energy on navigating this Kafka-esque nightmare of a learning management system in hope that eventually we might have a few spare moments left over for the ACTUAL FUCKING COURSE I AM MEANT TO BE TEACHING.

    *An obscene exaggeration of a very loosely-defined use of the term "compensation."
    I smiled at your posts, but that situation sounds just dreadful. I've been out of teaching for many years, and I was never in the exam level of years10-12 teaching, but I wonder if there is a link you can recommend to have a tentative look at the sort of thing you are having to cope with?

  • OhherOhher Shipmate
    Here you go, SusanDoris. Have fun. Do be aware that this is an ad for the product, so will offer nothing about its knots, glitches, and worm-holes.
  • I am in HELL. It is 112F
  • You are hereby invited to come visit me and stay as long as you like. That is craziness.
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